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Stay at Home Mom Guilt

someecards.com - I'm a stay at home mom, I take my kids to work everyday!  Wow, I was not expecting that. Guilt? Guilt for being at home with my baby? Guilt because I didn't take him to the local daycare and go and put in my days work like a good bacon earner should? What, am I going crazy? Why do I feel this way about being a stay at home mom?
   My husband and I talked many long talks about whether or not I would go back to work after our son was born. We came to the conclusion that time will tell. Time did tell, I never went back to work. I love my son to pieces and my husband with all my heart, but never in all the planning did I expect to feel guilty for not earning money and especially guilty for being there with our son when his daddy had to go and work 45 hours a week away from him.
   The guilt did not come till our son was about 6 months old, and there is a simple reason for that. The first 2 months of our sons life I was recouping from birth, learning all the ins and outs of motherhood, not sleeping much and dealing with the end of a Crohn's flair up. There was no reason to feel guilty by golly I felt miserable so I must be doing my share! When our son was 3 months old to 6 months old we would start our battle with no sleeping. The every 2 hour pacifier and food ritual. So, once again no guilt. With all my suffering through long nights with our son, there was no reason for guilt.
   But after some serious sleep training (look for my cry it out post) our son was sleeping 11 to 12 hours a night and naps oh, the beautiful naps he had it was heavenly! Life was glorious! My son was a pure delight to be around happy, sweet and well rested. Every moment was joyous and all I could think is I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
   Then guilt enters the scene. Why should I be so happy while my husband slaves away? I'd lie awake wondering if he resented me for having such a life of ease. Waking at 7:00 am and wandering in the kitchen to my cup of coffee after he had already gone to work. Worry, worry, worry.
   If your reading this post.... you are looking for answers. Here's what I can tell you that I know and I know you already know but need to hear again. You are being an amazing mom and amazing wife. You are taking care of the most precious thing in the world to your husband, his little gems, his babies. He goes to work because he loves you and it's his way of taking care of you and his family. God, designed you to desire and be a fantastic mom. It's the way we are hard-wired. It's OK... No it's wonderful.
    Now what actually helped me action-wise. First step to healing, I broke down on my husband and cried. He told me he would never trade me being home with our kids for any amount of money. Thus the healing began. Other things I did, was budget our money and became queen of being frugal. A dollar saved is a dollar earned and through this I began to earn many dollars. I started shopping at Sam's Club and buying things in bulk and saving so much money that way. Formula, baby food, frozen foods are all cheaper in bulk. Here is a post I did on Ways for Stay at Home Moms to save money!
   The other thing that helped me was realizing some cold hard truths. Yes, I felt guilty but with this realization was I going to go back to work? No, not one big fat chance. So, with this conclusion am I helping my husbands or my baby's quality of life by eating holes through the lining of my stomach due to endless unhappiness and stress? No, I was not.
   Another thing I did was I started doing projects my husband would usually have to do on the weekends thus freeing his time to be with us. Like replacing the leaking pipes and drain in our kitchen sink. How To Video I did on replacing leaking pipes. I also plan to start mowing the lawn and things like that. You are capable of so much more then you realize. Now that you have the time start a garden, learn to sew, sell things around your house on Craigslist be that Proverbs 31 woman.
    I no longer feel guilty all the time and I am beginning to fall into a wonderful rhythm of life. Occasionally I will find myself slipping what time I woke up in a conversation with my husband just so he knows I didn't sleep in till noon... just because I could have. : ) But overall between thoughtful prayers and hard work a clean conscious was won. Face it mom, raising kids is no piece of cake. If you have a phase where your babies are sleeping and life is a breeze, enjoy it. It may not last forever so no reason to feel guilty for enjoying it and just plain enjoying life! Live, Laugh and Love! All good memories start with laughter and love! Make your life and the life of your family a good memory.
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